Gender Differences & Same-Sex Attraction

         

            This week in class we talked a lot about gender differences. We watched a video called Men, Women, and the Sex Difference by John Stossel. In this video they explored the question of whether girls and boys are the same at a nature level. There are a lot of people that thought that the way we nurture our girls and boys is what makes them different, and if we treated them the same they would act the same. In the video they showed this was false, that some parents who tried to raise their kids gender neutral were finding certain differences coming out naturally like the way they played with toys. Girls would be more sensitive and cooperative while playing, while boys were more aggressive. In class we made a chart of some of the commonly found characteristics that are found in the majority for the different sexes. For girls we found that they are generally more compassionate, sensitive, expressive, and cooperative, while boys are generally more tough and aggressive. It was also found that girls’ brains are more connected, while guys are more segmented.  And girls are more relationship oriented and guys are more spatially and task oriented.  

            Another topic we discussed was same-sex attraction.  Just to clarify same-sex attraction refers to if someone has a romantic or sexual attraction to the same sex, while homosexual refers to someone who has acted on these attractions, and gay and lesbian is used more to define an identity.  We talked about the debate on whether people are really born having same-sex attraction. We looked over the studies that people cite in evidence of it, and found that the social scientist that conducted these studies never said their studies were positive proof and some of them describe the limits and flaws of their research.  If you would like to read more on this there is a book called: Understanding Same-Sex Attraction and Chapter 8 talks in-depth about these studies. 

            We then talked about a theory called “Exotic becomes Erotic” from a researcher named Bem. This theory talks about how your temperament leads to activity preferences, which later leads to the feeling of “I am different” from the gender you do not share much in common with. So for example if a boy had a more feminine temperament like maybe he liked to engage in more girl type activities like playing dolls or creating more than sports or being aggressive. That may lead to feelings of “I am different” from other boys. And he might have a deep desire to want to be accepted by the other boys, and not in a sexual way. And there are other factors like if a person is molested, that person is four times more likely to have same-sex attraction. Especially for boys, they feel like if they felt stimulated while they were molested, and if they had some of the other variables as well, they sometimes feel like they were always different, so maybe they do have same-sex attraction.

             I just found this image and thought it was interesting.

                                                                                               

Social Class, Culture, and Diversity

This week in class we discussed the many social groups that can influence families. These social groups can be anything from social class, to unique cultures to which we belong too. To explain culture we defined it as: beliefs, values, norms, tradition, and what you do. Social class is about money, the area in which you live, and/or perspective.  While sometimes we do not have a choice in choosing what social class we belong to, we do get to choose the culture. And in class Brother Williams said, “Not only do we get to choose the culture in our own families, we must choose.” I really liked this because sometimes we feel we have to follow in our parents footsteps exactly with how they raised us, but we can choose to do the good and maybe improve the flaws in their parenting style, and not repeat them with our own children.

We also discussed the diversity in families. There are so many different cultural ways to raise a family. We read in our book: Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy by Robert H. Lauer, about how Hispanic families and African American families are regarded as two of the most family centered types of families in the U.S. We expound on Hispanics and how they often spend time not only with their nuclear families, but their extended families as well. We also read a document that talked about the tolls of illegal immigration can have on the family. How it can greatly impact the relationships in the family, and lead to different problems. The study we read made me want to make sure that when I raise my family, when it’s possible, to always spend as much quality time with my children as possible and establish close relationships with them.

 If you guys are interested in watching some great videos on social class in America the links are right here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8VXrHeLqBA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU5MtVM_zFs&feature=PlayList&index=0&list=PLC6D871A2A8C3C8EF

Family Systems

          This week in Family Relations we talked about the different theories social scientists use to guide their research and to explain intimate relationships. Among these theories are: exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, conflict theory, and systems theory.  For the most part we focused on the systems theory. The book we are reading out of called Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy by Robert H. Lauer says the following things about systems theory:

“As applied to intimate relationships, system theory asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole; the group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. Thus, particular people from the system have particular rules and roles that apply to their system. Furthermore, the group is also composed of interrelated parts or individuals. That is, the parts are not independent but influence each other and work together in such a way that the system tends to be maintained; outside influences generally cause minimal change. If the system is composed of there or more individuals (as in a family with children), various subsystems may arise (like parent and child may form a coalition against the other parent).  Although such subsystems may appear to be threatening, they actually end to maintain the system. For instance, a woman may remain in a marriage only because she and her child support and protect each other when the alcoholic husband and father becomes abusive. “

            We talked about how many family therapists use the systems model in their practice. They put this into action by making family maps. Family maps are used to get a picture of the degree and quality of interaction or connection between individuals, between family subsystems, and around the family.  The kinds of relationships are mapped out through different kinds of boundaries. The following boundaries symbols include:

Rigid boundaries: (little exchange of information or warmth), were drawn with a simple solid line”­­­­ (-----) between the different parties or around a subsystem.  (This simple diagram would suggest a husband and wife who are not very close: H|W). Rigid boundaries are also called closed or impermeable boundaries.

Permeable or clear boundaries (an appropriate or healthy degree and quality exchange of information or warmth) were drawn with a dashed line (- - - -). These might also be called reasonably- or appropriately-open boundaries. 

Poor or diffuse boundaries are indicated with a dotted line (. . . . .), suggesting that the boundaries are easily violated. These might also be called very open, overly-open, or unclear boundaries, as they fail to clearly define the boundaries between individuals or subsystems.

 Affiliation, or involvement between individuals or subsystems, is indicated by two parallel lines (====) run from one party (individual or subset) to the other.

Over involvement is indicated by three parallel lines, and indicates that there is too much exchange of information or behavior. Conflict is indicated by lines with an obvious break (---/ /---).

Detouring refers to the behavior of relating or responding to others via another.

We were challenged to make our own family systems map for a time frame that we determined.  This was particularly interesting or pivotal in the functioning of our family; like when we moved out, or perhaps when a family crisis occurred.  I would like to challenge anyone reading this to make their own family systems map, it really is an enlightening exercise, and can help you try to gain a deeper understanding of how different relationships in your family work. It can also help you to try and see if there are some things you can do to try and make some of these boundaries healthier.

Population Crisis

Through the many science classes I have taken, and through the media, I have been told that our world population is going to exceed the carrying capacity of the earth. I've also been told that this will cause many different problems, including global warming. This week, in my family relations class, I watched a video that contradicted this theory. There is evidence that we are actually going to experience a population decrease within the next 40 years. Some people might say this is a good thing, but this video pointed out why this could actually lead to a demographic winter.   

The main reason why the world is experiencing a population decrease is the drop in fertility rate. Fertility rate is defined by how many children a woman has in her lifetime. The current world fertility rate is about 2.47 children. The fertility rate that is required for replacement of the world population is 2.13. Now I know that you are probably thinking that is still more then we need for replacement, and that we would still be growing. However, research has shown that the fertility rate is decreasing each year. One example of this is, in nine years, the fertility rate has dropped from 2.6 to 2.47, that is a phenomenal drop for such a short period of time. If this pattern increases we'll be at the replacement level in about 24 years.  Some people may think this will never happen, because third world countries have tons of children, but as more of the third world countries are becoming more modernized we have seen a drop in their fertility rate as well.  In most of the first world countries, the fertility rate is already below the replacement rate.

Since the sixties, there have been people claiming that in the near future there would not be enough resources to support even four billion people on the earth and that millions would starve to death. Today there are over seven billion, and there are still plenty of resources to go around because of human capital. Human capital is the knowledge, skills or abilities possessed by individuals.  In other words, it is basic human resources. Humans have been coming up with new technologies to support themselves since the beginning of civilization. In the last two centuries more innovations have been made than any other time in history. It truly has been a great time for man! But human capital is in jeopardy with the population decrease.

Another problem pointed out with the population drop in fertility rate, is that less people will be in our work force to help support the retired population. 

I highly encourage anyone that reads this to not just take my word for it, but to do your own research. Come up with questions, and try to find your own answers. I will post the link to the video for you to have a starting point if you'd like. I've just touched on some of the information found in it. http://www.byutv.org/watch/59b6b917-984a-478f-93b1-521a647779c4/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter-part-1

My name is Beccah and I am a student at BYU-Idaho. I am super excited this semester to be able to take and talk about the things I have learned in Family Relations on this blog. Hopefully sharing my knowledge with others will not only deepen my understanding, but touch some others as well.