Women Can Still Be Stay at Home Moms

In today’s society there is a negative image given, at least from what I have seen, about stay at home moms.  Stay at home moms are seen as being held back from their full potential. It’s my belief that being a stay at home mother can be very fulfilling, as well as important for children as they grow up.

                Sometimes, people think a woman is giving up her opportunities in life to become more intellectual, when she is a stay at home mom. Dennis Prager, a radio show host, expounds more of this in his article called: Does a Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop. In it he states: “To suggest that children benefit from having a full-time parent -- which will usually be the mother -- is, in the eyes of the dominant intellectual culture, equivalent to advocating suppression of women and "swapping their brains for a mop." The left views full-time homemakers as individuals who, because of patriarchy and other nefarious forces, have abandoned their minds to the lowest intellectual activity the human being can engage in: homemaking. Being a full-time homemaker, mother and wife is the left's vision of hell.” He replies to this by continuing to say: “Lest the latter seem a self-serving suggestion, there are many other opportunities for full-time homemakers to broaden their intellectual horizons: recorded books and a few television networks, for example. And if a woman can get help from grandparents, neighbors, older children or a baby sitter, there are also myriad opportunities for study outside the house -- such as community college classes, book clubs, etc. -- and for volunteer work in intellectually more stimulating areas than most paid work.” The full article can be found here: http://www.dennisprager.com/columns.aspx?g=8e8f6ecd-d9c8-4bc0-a4bb-ad12d301044b&url=does_a_full-time_homemaker_swap_her_mind_for_a_mop

 So adding to what Prager was saying, there are plenty of ways for stay at home moms to engage in intellectual activities. Like he said there are educational shows to watch, radio shows, good books, etc. I know personally that while I am at home alone cleaning, I would for example watch some TV while doing dishes, or listen to the radio while doing other household chores, like laundry. Also, even the busiest moms need to take time out for themselves, and while they do that they could be reading an educational book. Another thing that comes to mind is helping children out with homework. Educational curriculum is changing constantly, and helping out our children sometimes means relearning or maybe learning some things for the first time. I know I was helping my sister out with some math homework while I was home, and I had to review how to do those specific problems, even though I had learned it once before. In a way, a mom re-goes through school with her children.

                 I also believe that stay at home moms play a vital role in their children’s lives. In my textbook: Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy by Lauer and Lauer, it says: “Unfortunately, there is more evidence of negative than of positive effects for outcomes of maternal employment. A study of third- and fourth-grade children whose mothers worked during the first year of the children’s lives reported that they, compared to children whose mothers were not employed, had less tolerance  for frustration, more behavioral problems, and were more likely to be named by their peers for hitting others and “being mean”. There is also a slower rate of cognitive development (such as lower vocabulary scores) when mothers work during the first three years. Muller (1995) examined national data and found that children perform better on achievement tests when mothers are either employed part-time or not employed. A study of eighth graders reported that those who had to care for themselves for 11 hours a week or more because of parental work reported more anger, stress, and family conflict than others. And Baum (2004) reported that adolescents whose mothers had recently gone to work experienced a decline in their grades.”

These are just a few examples of some of the studies that have been done, showing some of the things that happen when a mother is employed. Obviously, sometimes mothers have to work, especially single mothers, but sometimes it can be avoided. For the women out there who believe they have to bring in a second income for their family to survive, there might be another way. Staying at home: How to downsize from dual to single income is an article I recently read, about a couple where the woman decided she wanted to be a stay at home mom.  They made some changes so she did not have to work anymore and they could still stay afloat financially. The full article can be found here: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765556846/Staying-at-home-How-to-downsize-from-dual-to-single-income.html?pg=1

I know that personally, having a stay at home mom was a blessing to me. I always was grateful that my mom was there when I needed her, and always willing to help me out. I know that when I grow up, I want to be able to emulate my mother’s example and be there for my kids as much as possible, and being a stay at home mom is one way I want to do that.